I hate everyone!!!!!
Not really I am just really irritated with the situations at hand.
I have got 4 weeks to "get it together" WTFFFF I don’t even fucking get paid what i should get paid and they complain. What fucking ass hole bitches...I’m just going to find another fucking job in my field, fuck this bull-shit.... I don’t need there stress. Whatever I am going to my fucking job for four more fucking weeks and try to find another one and when I find it I’m gone and when I am gone so long Miry, so long important files LMFFAAAOOO!!!! I would love to stick around just to look at their fucking faces when all their precious little files are gone, Boohoo cry me a fucking river and then go drown in it bitches you brought this upon yourselves!
And that stupid stupid stupid guy, what the fuck is his problem dude dude dude if you had a little bit of intelligence you would either A. Act how you are fucking supposed to, or B. Get the fuck out of my life so I can heal and be at peace. I mean what the fuck you have time when you get home to check myspace but you don’t have 5 minutes to give a call or a text. A day shall come when I don’t want to deal anymore.
I am soooo angry right now at everyone...
Like wtf, I’m supposed to plan tonight, what is there to do in this fucking city that we haven’t already done a gazillion times and repeat every weekend. Like seriously? Ugh.
I am really starting to acquire, low bull-shit tolerance.
I really don’t want to be a bitch but when the world is turning against me, I have to do something about it. Now I understand Mariel and she has it a lot harder than I.
I know that my actions are not entirely inconsequential. I, however, honestly feel that I have to do what I feel I must do in order to live -- what I hope to be, ultimately -- a happy life. It doesn't come for free. And I have hurt people -- people I love, including myself -- along the way. And maybe I'll find Happy. But, maybe I won't.
Nevertheless, I will not sit idly by and hope that Happy just comes or happens to me. Because I was doing that for a while, when I thought I had Happy. Then Happy went away.
I have to find it and get it again. I just have to ...
Things are going pretty well, not as good as I would like them to be... but better overall. I'm still down sometimes, I hate being down; in my 21 years of life I have never felt this down I've always been happy, peppy and all that. I guess maybe because I have never really felt like this. Oh well.
I have many of projects and things to do to keep my mind busy and keep it from wandering into the dark abyss that is my brain. I actually wish I was wandering more than I was busy because it’s stressing me out!
Oh and BREAKING DAWN COMES OUT IN TWO DAYS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <---me freaking out... You know I'll definitely not be seen for a couple of days.
I’m trying to do a bit of changing also; I mean it’s been a work in progress since the beginning of this year. I have changed a lot, but I feel there’s more room for improvement. Things that have changed since Jan 08, hmm lets see;
--Body, I have dropped weight and body fat has gone down, muscle has gone up, tone is awesome yet I am not satisfied, I think there is still more room for improvement.
--Mentally, I have grown up a lot and see things differently... I didn’t know what I wanted, now I am unquestionably sure of what I want, My heart and my head were weaker, now they have been made a lot stronger. I know now that whatever happens I will be ok.
--Reading has become more than just entertainment; it has become my escape from the real world and into another. My little sanctuary, it’s where I am safe from my thoughts. To forget my problems and all things that is threatening to question my sanity and rationality.
-- Appearance for me is very important, I have never really had a style preference I always wore what I wanted if it looked good. It’s still the same but fashion is what I like, don’t get me wrong I don't always like all the latest trends like those Spartan looking sandals Like WTFFFF.... Please someone take them all and burn them. But I haven't been in a good financial situation recently so I have to hold off on shopping, I used to shop every weekend...I haven’t shopped in 3 months.
Everything else is just small things, for example my hair...oh my gosh my hair, it’s so long, but I’ve been wanting to cut it and every time I get the nerve to I freak out and run the other way. =)
I guess for now this is all I've got, for now.
So last night me and Susan went to a movie...and after we were just chillin and were talking about things and I made her do a goals list! I think this might be a good thing for her.
Besides that my weekend was absolutely fun. I enjoyed myself with my girls!
I have a lot of things to do this week and I have two finals. I also have to write a paper on three goals I have achieved for English composition. Ugh! I just looked at my schedule for next Module and I am so very disappointed.... I have classes I don't like...I hate networking!!!
I am so very confused about my guy situation...or might I say situation(s).
Ugh...and my ex keeps texting me and calling me...he is still not over the fact that I am over him... That I moved on. I got a text from him last night... Saying, "You know what I thought to myself, damn, you dont know what you got till you lose it. But come to ralize that I shouldn't. But you should sooner or later."....pfft Yeah Right! He wishes, after how he treated me and did to me.
I am doing mighty fine right now getting everything i want and doing whatever I want and pretty much having fun. But I do miss... every once in while. I'm getting better though. I am glad to say I owe my friends a lot because they are awesome!!!
Ah But anyways I am out now...I will probably write again later because it seems like its going to be a slow day at work.
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