Dreams: Lately they've been freaking me out. I dont just have nightmares I have weird weird dreams. I can't seem to get them out of my mind...
The other day I got "attacked" or pushed down on the bed without movement three times in a row while trying to fall asleep....in one of the times I felt someone come in the room and say things to me in my ear and I don't know what it meant. Anyway I have been having trouble sleeping since then.
Besides that...everything is pretty decent. Not bad not exactly good ...Just neutral...trying to do all my daily things and you know relax and trying to find a job.
I met .... and everything went well and all the feelings were there on my part... I don't know if he felt the same... I guess not. I really haven't heard anything from him. Just my luck.
The love life... I am Romantically challenged I guess or maybe its just not for a pretty good girl like me... lol its ok though guys/men/boys nowadays are pieces of shit anyway. They say one thing and do others, play games, cheat, test you, use you, blah blah blah the list goes on and on.... and I seriously don't want any part of it... All I need is my family and some Mary Jane.
I still want my happy ending and I don't think it'll be anytime soon.... Its been disappointment after disappointment.
I hate this feeling. Its going to be another unhappy day for me.
The question isn't about what's possible, the question is, what do you really want?
So what a day I had being Mad at the world for what has to be the 50th time this year.... I just get frustrated by my stupid thoughts. So I had a great 4 hour workout session at the gym just letting go of my frustrations and then looked at myself in the fucking mirror and realized I am a Dime piece...Yay me... congratulations Miry the mirror thinks you’re hot. Then after discovering that fact I danced a little stretched a little and tried to become a pretzel... Not to mention I had a good dinner and a good book ....so now I have fed my stomach and my mind... Go ME!! Then as I started to imagine the scenes from the book in my head so perfectly so precise so wonderful away from anywhere else.... "get silly, get silly, get silly" <----my phone rings....and it’s my silly goose of a cousin Annabelle which I absolutely love not only do I love that girl but I would die for that girl she is my ride or die till the end.....lol we always say that.... she wants to hang at 12:00 o'clock.... OH MY! I’m just not sure but I say yes because it always makes my day to talk to Annabelle about my frustrations and daily on-goings...which apparently are funny to her. Seriously Annabelle I could have died when that piece of shelf fell on my head! But yea I seemed to realize that my life was so weird. LMFAO<---- like seriously did some band decide from a book of IM-ing slang Just closed their eyes and went right for that one.... I do love them though and my polka dot bikini as well... Wow I apparently have so much to talk about I did some Amazon-ing to... mmhhhmmm... yes I did and I ended up buying 6 more books to add to my collection, pretty soon I’m going to need another shelf....this time I will make sure to be out of the room until this shelf business is complete. How can I possibly end this paragraph of my ramblings about weird day to day things...hmmmm....? I’m just going to say bye. "Bye!” ::waves at computer screen:: Oh no! Do computer screens wave back?
Still an awesome song!
Bruised - Jacks Mannequin
=))
I am so tired... of being a good person.
I am so tired of being alone.
I'm so tired of being scared.
I'm so tired of thinking that everyone is out to play that same game with me.
I am so tired of lies.
I'm so tired of things being complicated.
I'm so tired of watching people act like someone else in order for someone to like them, maybe that's why I am alone because I never act like someone else.
I'm tired of society's Idea of perfect.
I am so tired of social networking.
I'm so tired that you can see everything everyone is doing and everyone your in competition with!!!
I'm so tired of people.
I am so tired of competition. ::sighs::
I'm so tired of seeing what you want in someone elses hands.
I'm tired of everything and everyone.
I'm tired of hearing bad news.
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of staying here in Miami.
I am tired of all the peice of shits living in this hell hole.
I'm tired of the bad memories.
I'm so tired of giving a lot more than i get in return.
I'm so tired, just tired.
I'm so tired of waiting.
I'm so tired.
Today is just not a fucking good day.
Going to the gym...then I dont know. Perhaps a walk in the park, yes that sounds quite lovely.
Today's annoyances.
Suicidal Birds... seriously swooping down in front of fast moving vehicles is not cool. Grrrr thank God I didn't kill him.
Cranky old ladies in the sauna telling me to lower my crazy rock music because it was bothering her.... Thank God I didn't strangle her.
Losing things. Where the hell is my license!!!!!
Gym music always reminds me of why I listen to an I-pod when I am at the gym. For an instant I take off my earphones and I hear "come on daddy let me see your grills".... Like who the fuck wants to see them grills, I sure as hell don't!!!!
Besides all that I had 250 contacts in my phone book and since I wanted to do some cleaning out in my life I now have 134 which consists of family, close friends, & important numbers.
Hmmmmm.... anything else I am leaving out.... Oh yes I finished my painting and now I need another new canvas and I am waiting for 3 new books to arrive, my new cellphone and I am going to go on a crazy Amazon spree.
I love my past. I love my present.
I'm not ashamed of what I've had... of what I've done, and I'm not sad
that I have it no longer because my present looks so much better. ;)
I woke up this morning with a smile from one ear to the other.... Usually when I awake in the morning I am super cranky and bitchy, and people waking me up annoys me...So Manny calls because Mabelle is late once more waking up and being the good boyfriend that he is doesn't want Mabelle to be late... So he calls and I pick her up, when she gets in the car she can so tell my mood...she knows I'm not really a morning person... lol... and shes goes I can tell that your happy.... I ask her how can she tell and shes answers, because your smiling and your energy feels happy. So I spring into full conversation mode as to the result of my "Happiness."
Even as I am writing this I am smiling like there is no end... I think today is a very good day thanks to... ;)
Ahhhh... I've got a feeling!!!
I feel like singign I was doing so in the car as well on my mission to find breakfast Manny suggested toget BK so I did I got a Crossiantwich and a small coffee...Oh and I told him about.... also and he says that its really good.
Ugh I have an audition for a movie on August 7th. I have to study my lines.... I think i can do wonderful as this part. I already read some of the script and it wont be hard to get into this character.
Did I mention how super awesome I am feeling today????
Well I have to go ship some items I sold.... Hopefully I can get better at this whole selling thing on ebay.... Its kind of tidious to list things one by one....blaaaaahhhh...
Toodooloo I will write later =)
How can something that feels right one moment, make you feel queasy the next?
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Night Night.
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