Thus Far...

10:46 AM Unknown 0 Comments

Things are going pretty well, not as good as I would like them to be... but better overall. I'm still down sometimes, I hate being down; in my 21 years of life I have never felt this down I've always been happy, peppy and all that. I guess maybe because I have never really felt like this. Oh well.

I have many of projects and things to do to keep my mind busy and keep it from wandering into the dark abyss that is my brain. I actually wish I was wandering more than I was busy because it’s stressing me out!

Oh and BREAKING DAWN COMES OUT IN TWO DAYS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <---me freaking out... You know I'll definitely not be seen for a couple of days.

I’m trying to do a bit of changing also; I mean it’s been a work in progress since the beginning of this year. I have changed a lot, but I feel there’s more room for improvement. Things that have changed since Jan 08, hmm lets see;
--Body, I have dropped weight and body fat has gone down, muscle has gone up, tone is awesome yet I am not satisfied, I think there is still more room for improvement.

--Mentally, I have grown up a lot and see things differently... I didn’t know what I wanted, now I am unquestionably sure of what I want, My heart and my head were weaker, now they have been made a lot stronger. I know now that whatever happens I will be ok.
--Reading has become more than just entertainment; it has become my escape from the real world and into another. My little sanctuary, it’s where I am safe from my thoughts. To forget my problems and all things that is threatening to question my sanity and rationality.
-- Appearance for me is very important, I have never really had a style preference I always wore what I wanted if it looked good. It’s still the same but fashion is what I like, don’t get me wrong I don't always like all the latest trends like those Spartan looking sandals Like WTFFFF.... Please someone take them all and burn them. But I haven't been in a good financial situation recently so I have to hold off on shopping, I used to shop every weekend...I haven’t shopped in 3 months.

Everything else is just small things, for example my hair...oh my gosh my hair, it’s so long, but I’ve been wanting to cut it and every time I get the nerve to I freak out and run the other way. =)

I guess for now this is all I've got, for now.

Alright so I have a lot to say....

11:13 AM Unknown 0 Comments

Alright so I finished reading The Host about two weeks ago.
Excellent book, even though it starts of slow and goes into a lot of details, over all its very good, obviously not better than Twilight =).

At this point I am really puzzled about if I am happy or not... I mean last week I had dinner with A...the story is supposedly he's ready and we are talking again...Which made me super duper happy =)... But at times he is distant, for example not calling all day or texting really late in the day. And honestly I don't want to call or text him because I have done a lot of trying and effort in the past couple of months when he didn’t even respond or I didn’t even hear from him. I think I proved that I was ready and that I want to be with him...now it’s his turn. But it’s really hard to ignore the fact that he is remote at times and when he doesn’t call or text it kills me. But I know that I have gotten stronger and I know what I have to do.

Besides all that I am really happy I have started a Twilight Frenzy between my friends... YAY ME!!!... I have gotten all of them to read it. Annabelle, Mabelle, Mariel, Laura, Susan, Giselle, Made... Annabelle got one of her friends to read it and so has Mariel and it just keeps going =) Every time we all have discussions about it, in my head I am like "Oh My Gosh...I DID THIS!" Hehehe!!! Now to find another book that is to every ones liking is going to be hard because pretty soon the last book of Twilight will come out and we would have all read them all. So time to find another series to get them all hooked on even though it'll be hard because Twilight was AMAZING, WONDERFUL, AWESOME, FANTASTIC!!! I love that book so much it helped me keep my mind off of things when I was trying to deal with the whole A thing.