The Wild Card

11:54 AM Unknown 0 Comments

All my life I have felt like an outsider of sorts, yet I still fit in. Even when I was "wifed up" all 4 years of high school I had a few good friends maybe 3 that I was really close to and would hang with but I could see how everyone looked at me. I could tell what guys liked me just by how they watched me. I didn't speak much, I would never talk unless it was to my close friends or to my boyfriend at the time, But when I did, people listened.

It's been almost 5 years since I graduated High school, 2 1/2 since I have been single, 1 year since I got over an asshole, 7 months since I completed my Web Administration degree, and 6 days since the New Year started, and a lifetime to go. How can I fit all that I am, all that I have become and all that I will be in one lifetime? There isn't enough time and there isn't a rewind button. You live for today but today is almost gone already...so now what? Did you do everything you set out to do today? Chances are that you haven't, that today is just another day that passed you by... We are all searching and asking the same questions but no one has the answers, not the scientists, not the religious people, not the psychics, not the astrologers... All you have is yourself and reason. Reason is it, there must be a reason if there were not a reason then we wouldn't be. That's the only answer and the only truth.

Right now... all that I want is knowledge. However it is that I get it whether in books, in school, in the library for countless amount of hours, research... however I get it I will seek it and that's my inevitable truth.

Updates: I am almost done with the painting that I've been working on and soon I will have a picture up but that also means I have to go get a new canvas to start the other, at least I have a lot of inspiration. I will start making albums for this year to post on my blog and also videos. I need to go to the bookstore so that I can pick out a new book to start the year with... and the gym mission well that's never going to stop, its become a lifestyle.

Well I'm going to get back to working and playing with Marty. Have a great day everyone!