Tornados Lightning and Floods...

1:58 PM Unknown 1 Comments

These past couple of weeks I've been having dreams about natural disasters... I have had 4 dreams about floods... 2 about tornados, and last night I had a dream about lightning and meteors, what I saw... in my dream last night was lightning everywhere coming down all over from the sky to ground at first it looked to me like just meteors but I soon realized it was both, all around me lightning hit next to me behind me in front of me the sounds were loud and the flashes blinding... it was raining destruction everywhere, but I didn’t move I knew they weren’t going to hit me, I knew I was untouchable. The end of my dream ended with a phone call, when I saw the name on the caller ID on my phone I got extremely happy but it was someone else telling me that the person who’s phone they were calling from had passed away and then I woke up.

I don't know what these dreams mean and I don't care to find out, its not like I am not used to bad dreams already.

Anyway, today starts Mabelles birthday weekend and I can tell we are all going to have fun and a great time...I can't wait.

Good Day.

 

Outta My System

3:23 AM Unknown 0 Comments

So as a distraction to my mind I have decided to go through old photographs in my pink 250gb drive, that if anything happens to it I would surely have cardiac arrest, I've actually decided to share some old photographs with the followers and or the new readers of my oh so fun and interesting blog...

Dear Miry,

11:59 AM Unknown 0 Comments

I am writing to you today to tell you what you already know but need to be reminded of. I have been on this self discovery phase for quite a while and what I have found is this unique, kind, compassionate, human being. Yes, you are a little lost and you still have so much more to learn about yourself but the truth of the matter is you'll get to where your going and where you are meant to be. Stay positive... your young, beautiful and have your heart and mind in the right place. Don't let fear hold you back, you saw what happened when you took that chance, good, take more. Learn, keep learning about things that interest you regardless of what anyone says just wipe your ass with their negative thoughts. Keep Going. Stay focused on your goals you've noticed how they can be accomplished if you stay focused and work hard. Keep expressing your feelings because they are yours and they are real there is no need to hide what you feel when you feel it you have every right to your feelings. Keep smiling, your smile is wonderful and contagious use it as often as possible even when you don't want to, trust me look in the mirror and smile... you'll understand. Let go of the past because its already gone those people that hurt you and didn't take the chance to know you are worthless and missed out on a great person. Stand up, you know what you believe in don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong and belittle you based on your beleifs, just like your feelings they are yours. Remember your values... Individuality, Self, Peace, Knowledge, Family, Friends, Happiness, Sucess and Love. And Last but certainly not least keep being yourself you are absolutely awesome and you know it!

Your friend,
Miry

On that Tip.

2:33 AM Unknown 0 Comments

I stay on that positive tip, I'm not stuck in the past, that's some stupid shit, I took a risk... I'm so glad I did ;) -Miry.

Nightmares have a 5am wake up call.

6:32 PM Unknown 0 Comments

When my room is still dark & I have awoken from yet another nightmare I've made it a habit every night to check the time on my phone, I wake up every night at around the same time, 5am-ish.

I used to love going into unconsciousness as an escape to my dreams because they used to be wonderful, not anymore, I have a nightmare every-time I slip into sleep. Sometimes I don't remember them, other times I remember them and feel them all to well. Last nights dream was no different from any other night, except last night the images were just a repeat of something that already happened but the intentions and the words were meant to torture me, hurt me, cause me pain. I woke up (5:23am) and paced around the room, I walked to the kitchen as quiet as possible to not wake the parental units and got my usual glass of water and went back to sleep. All day that fucking dream has been in my head. All day playing itself over and over again on the edge of my mind as if there were some sort of deeper meaning to it.

At least my day has been productive and distracting enough to keep it at a safe distance, where soon it will be nothing but just another bad dream that fades into nothingness.

Happiness is what I value the most, it is what counts in my world and no nightmare, no guy, no bitch, nothing will take it away.

Trying...

1:29 PM Unknown 0 Comments

I believe that ones own happiness has to be achieved by ones own effort, which brings me to my current situation. For what its worth, I am trying. I don't believe in games that people nowadays have succumbed to in order to get what they want or who they want. Games can only work against you, maybe for a while they will work in your favor, but at the end your only hurting yourself.

Society has twisted our minds, people and their games have twisted not only our minds but our faith in other people. This is why I don't play. If I like you, you'll know it, If I want to see you you'll know it and Ill try to see you, If I want to know you, trust me I will try to get to know you. Its really that simple. No games required and that's how it should be. Right now it seems worth a try... but I'm no fool either if I can't get through then at some point I would have to let it be.

If it makes you happy, then why run from it? Running isn't necessary, nor is it smart. You lose more than you gain this way.

Those are my words for today... I am off to enjoy a nice cold day in Miami. Have a great Sunday everyone.

Words are my best allies:

9:43 PM Unknown 0 Comments

Drown out the sound of fear that plays on the edge of your mind, let go, & be mine, I'll take away the poison left behind. - Miry

The Wild Card

11:54 AM Unknown 0 Comments

All my life I have felt like an outsider of sorts, yet I still fit in. Even when I was "wifed up" all 4 years of high school I had a few good friends maybe 3 that I was really close to and would hang with but I could see how everyone looked at me. I could tell what guys liked me just by how they watched me. I didn't speak much, I would never talk unless it was to my close friends or to my boyfriend at the time, But when I did, people listened.

It's been almost 5 years since I graduated High school, 2 1/2 since I have been single, 1 year since I got over an asshole, 7 months since I completed my Web Administration degree, and 6 days since the New Year started, and a lifetime to go. How can I fit all that I am, all that I have become and all that I will be in one lifetime? There isn't enough time and there isn't a rewind button. You live for today but today is almost gone already...so now what? Did you do everything you set out to do today? Chances are that you haven't, that today is just another day that passed you by... We are all searching and asking the same questions but no one has the answers, not the scientists, not the religious people, not the psychics, not the astrologers... All you have is yourself and reason. Reason is it, there must be a reason if there were not a reason then we wouldn't be. That's the only answer and the only truth.

Right now... all that I want is knowledge. However it is that I get it whether in books, in school, in the library for countless amount of hours, research... however I get it I will seek it and that's my inevitable truth.

Updates: I am almost done with the painting that I've been working on and soon I will have a picture up but that also means I have to go get a new canvas to start the other, at least I have a lot of inspiration. I will start making albums for this year to post on my blog and also videos. I need to go to the bookstore so that I can pick out a new book to start the year with... and the gym mission well that's never going to stop, its become a lifestyle.

Well I'm going to get back to working and playing with Marty. Have a great day everyone!

Put those thoughts in the Garbage.

12:26 PM Unknown 0 Comments

This morning so far is great. I am dog sitting Marty, the boss mans new puppy. He is adorable and I want to keep him. He’s being a Major distraction though… He already tried to peepee on the carpet…Not good!

These past couple of days I've had these feelings of absence like I am missing something...My chest feels tight and my mind drifts away from what I need to do and into what I shouldn't be thinking about,  I can’t stop thinking... Getting lost in stupid thoughts puts me in a bad mood… I am never in a bad mood… WHAT THE HELL!!!...  At least last night when I was gloomy, Manny and Mabelle picked me up and lifted my spirits we had a good talk about how I felt and why I was on a downer. I feel so much better when I talk to them and I am back on my happy tip today. The good thing is that my downers never last.

This is my only conclusion… Going backward is never an option, it’s my inevitable truth. I have the freedom of who I am and who I will become.

Like a child crawling, then walking, then running....

11:19 AM Unknown 0 Comments

Today is the first Monday of the year.

Mission Mode:
1st Mission... Focus on the missions.

My New Years celebrations were great, The only thing that kind of ruined my new years was a guy, go figure. But I say that we go in wrong and finish it right. I am starting a clean up in my house of all the crap I don't want and giving it away to the salvation army and whatever else that I can sell for some extra cash on Ebay including reminders and stuff other people have given me or I have kept by accident.

Im starting full blast this year at the gym... Not that it matters I actually went almost everyday of 2009 so its not much of a difference but since I achieved my goal of 110lbs I am concentrating on other body goals I have in mind, just watch as beach time comes around. ::smiles:: I'm actually swimming... I need goggles to use in the pool because on Saturday I was at the gym and my eyes got red and irritated because of the pH balance in the water of the pool at the gym. I'm also thinking of doing a triathlon so that means I would have to train in Running, Swimming and Biking. Bring it!!!.. this year I am testing my limits.

This year will be full of self improvement, fun activities, and time with awesome friends.

There is no time to be down, or stand still... Life stands still for no one, I will not stand still.  I am starting fresh and uncomplicated.